Just a quick post to say that already on Day 2 of the fitness plan, I have decided to make a slight modification and add a “Stage 0”; unsurprisingly, going from being virtually house-bound to walking a half mile every day is something my body’s just not putting up with. If I didn’t have the lupus to think about, then yes, it would simply be a case of pushing it, but alas, it doesn’t work like that when your body’s systems malfunction. 😛 So instead of giving up, I am simply introducing this stage before I move onto the planned Stage 1, and this stage comprises exactly the same as Stage 1, just doing it on alternate days rather than every day. And when this becomes easier, then I can move on and do it every day. Unfortunately it means I’ve missed volunteering today; I may have been able to make it for a short time, but I have to travel to Glasgow tomorrow to see one of my doctors, and I know that going from struggling from one outing a week even here in Perth to three days in a row of activity would not work.
Being disabled and having a progressive chronic illness means life consists a lot of finding accommodations and modifications that work for you. Instead of feeling disappointed that I’ve already changed the plan to make it easier, I’m more confident that I will be able to work up as planned. Coming to terms with one’s disability means a lot of learning not to continue convincing yourself that there is some way to manage plans that deep down you know you either can’t manage or must work up to. I came to terms with the fact that I can’t pursue my dream career in forensic pathology and it’s made it a lot easier to find a new plan rather than say to myself that there is some way I’ll manage… And I know that while getting “fit” means I’m never going to be able to run or become Superman, by doing things based on my own experience and limits I will be able to find a plan that works for me – and I won’t feel guilty for having to modify things and ask for accommodations. Being disabled means we can’t base our abilities and limits on a non-disabled default.